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uni to calm down

Updated: Mar 18, 2023

I edited this like a month after I posted it because I have no confidence in my writing skills. I am always going back to fix the grammar or make the sentences more concise.

And yes, I am working on my self confidence.

There I was, on a train. Great, one of my biggest fears. The circumstances made it worse. My jaw shook so much that I couldn't get a word out. My legs trembled as I stared at my phone trying to piece the letters on my timetable together and string them into words but my eyes weren't focusing.

My right foot slowly went around in circles as I took in the teeth grinding noise of my ankle's clicky joints cracking.

I think its pretty obvious my anxiety peaked. Not as bad as I thought it would, which is a win.

Getting off the train I kept a good pace walking to the university. My stomach was in knots. "Just follow the crowd and look confident" I kept telling myself. I didn't want to look around too much and give the impression I was a clueless newbie.

I softly sighed out of relief when I found the building I was suppose to be in.

Walked in.

Freaked out.

Oh my god there is three levels.

That's it.

I'm done.

Found it.

Thank god.

Man this campus is so much bigger than ACU. It was overwhelming.

Week one is always about introductions. Day one was all about my creative writing unit and I have to say, I am intrigued. I was intimidated by the people in the class who absolutely thrive in writing and reads a novel a week. I am not that person. They were raising their hands and sharing their opinions. I could never be that confident.

I am not much of a reader, and when I do read, I prefer non-fiction

One of the first questions we were asked is "What do you enjoy writing?" I honestly had no clue. I like to write creative stories...does that count as a genre? aren't all stories creative? I suppose i'll learn the answers to these questions this semester. I like to write these blogs too. I wonder if that counts.

I believe the skills I will obtain can be transferred to my blog writing. We'll have to wait and see.

So why did I choose creative writing as one of my majors? I'm not entirely sure. I was just drawn to it.

I loved writing when I was younger and I was good at it. I went on to win the writers award in 2008 for my odd rendition of the wizard of oz. While I believe I was good at writing, this story certainly was not my greatest and I have often pondered why I won the award. I mean I ripped off The Wizard Of Oz. In my version, the main character followed the red brick road instead of the yellow brick road. Wow. How inventive. I don't recall what happens after that.

I wanted to join a club but my goodness there was so many people browsing the booths I could barely see what clubs they had to offer. When I could see, none of them really tickled my fancy. I shall take another look at them tomorrow if they are still advertising.

I finished the day feeling good. Actually somewhat excited to go back tomorrow.

I know the excitement will very quickly wear off as the assignments and lectures pile on like layers of a lasagne but lets just try and appreciate it for now. It's been a while since I've felt excited for anything school related.

A little bit of advice: Arrive early. Super early. Even embarrassingly early.



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